


Changing of the Seasons

by psychicmaya



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Christmas, Fourth of July, Halloween, Holidays, M/M, Pining, Rimming, Ryan "size queen" Bergara, St. Patrick's Day, the most ridiculous tropes ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 06:08:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16759468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicmaya/pseuds/psychicmaya
Summary: A year of parties, celebrations, and a few misunderstandings is all that Ryan needs to fall in love.-5+1 au based on the major (American) holidays throughout the year.





	Changing of the Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> this took me forever to write so i hope everyone enjoys!
> 
> slightly alternate timeline where the ghoul boys meet in early 2016
> 
> this is purely fiction, and i am not affiliated with anyone who appears in this story. do not repost this anywhere or show to any people involved in this story.

  1. St. Patrick’s Day



The first time Ryan embarrasses himself in front of Shane Madej, he’s  _ wasted. _

He stumbles out onto the sidewalk as Brent drags him away from the bar and into the frigid March air. Each step brings another wave of dizziness, and Ryan’s about two seconds away from falling hard on his ass.

“For fuck’s sake dude, slow down,” Ryan whines while attempting to plant his feet firmly on the sidewalk. The ground swoops beneath him and he steadies his hand on Brent’s shoulder.

He stops, and turns to Ryan with an exasperated “What the fuck, dude?”

“Dizzy,” Ryan mumbles, blinking furiously and pressing down hard on his temples. Brent rolls his eyes but takes a step closer to Ryan anyway, studying his face and holding onto Ryan’s arm, like he knows his friend is a second away from passing out. He’s just about to open his mouth again when his gaze turns away from Ryan and he breaks into a grin.

“Hey, you guys! Over here!” Brent calls, waving furiously at a group of people walking down the block. A dull roar rings out from the people spilling out of the bar, all fully decked out in green. By this point, Ryan’s seen enough green for at least the rest of the day, and consumed enough beer to make him sick for days. Ryan wants to leave before he has to interact with anyone else, swallowing hard as his stomach did somersaults. Just as he’s turning away, someone grabs a hold of his shoulder. 

“Ryan! Where you going?” a voice behind him shouts. He jumps a little, but reluctantly turns around to see a group of his coworkers behind him.

Keith’s hand is on his shoulder, his cheeks red from the day’s festivities, and his shirt covered in what could be sweat or beer. Zack’s close behind him, nursing a drink in one hand and scrolling through his phone on the other. Ryan plasters a fake smile on his face when he sees his friends, but it falters slightly when he spots the tall guy standing next to them.

Ryan swallows hard before taking a second glance at him, his palms sweating a little bit. He has no idea who this guy is, but he immediately finds himself unable to take his eyes off of him. Ryan knows he has a type, and this guy is the epitome of it: handsome, a little geeky, and very, very tall. Calling this guy tall is almost an understatement, with him standing at least a head taller than Ryan, his limbs dangling awkwardly against his sides. He’s got a goofy smile plastered on his face, and the bit of stubble around his mouth makes Ryan feel a bit weak in the knees.

“Oh, Ryan, do you know Shane? He started at Buzzfeed a week or so ago,” Brent explains as he snatches Zack’s phone from him and holds it up just high enough for it to be out of his reach. Zack whines, jumping up even though his fingers barely graze Brent’s wrist.

Shane locks eyes with Ryan, and his smile somehow gets a bit bigger. Ryan blinks, staring into Shane’s dark, sleepy eyes and feels his breath hitch a bit. Shane offers his hand to shake and Ryan has to take a deep breath before offering his hand as well. He’s trying his hardest not to notice how  _ big _ Shane’s hands are, or how soft they feel against his own. He forces himself to smile at Shane, even though his stomach is roiling and he feels bile rising up in his throat.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Shane states, squeezing Ryan’s hand gently and smirking a bit.

“It’s, uh, nice to meet you,” Ryan mutters, ignoring the nausea building up within him. His mouth starts filling up with saliva, and he knows he has to book it within the next few seconds unless he really wants to make a fool of himself. 

“So, you guys wanna head to another bar?” Keith questions, plucking Zack’s phone back from Brent’s hand and handing it back to him. 

Shane opens his mouth to reply to Keith’s question, but at that very moment, Ryan doubles over and pukes all over his shoes.

Everyone around him cries out and takes a step back, and Ryan has never felt so fucking embarrassed in his entire life. Shane’s stupidly long gangly limbs are flailing around in the air, like he’s really not sure what to do in this situation. As soon as he’s done puking, Ryan turns away to run as fast as he can. He hears his friends call out his name but he keeps going, pushing through the crowd until he spots a porta potty on the corner. He takes in a deep breath before locking himself inside, avoiding the wadded up toilet paper on the floor. Ryan puts his face in his hands and lets out a shaky breath before he chokes out a sob. He covers his mouth and pulls out his phone, requesting an Uber to meet him down the street. The putrid smelling porta potty becomes his sanctuary until he’s sure that his friends are gone, and he chastises himself for making a fool of himself in front his new, hot coworker. On the ride home, Ryan fights back tears and ignores the buzzing of his phone in his back pocket. When he finally stumbles into his apartment at 7:15pm that evening, he pulls out his phone to see dozens of texts from Brent, but can’t find the energy to read them, simply replying with “I’m home now.”

He tears up in the shower before passing out on his bed in only his towel.

-

Ryan waits a week before he can even  _ think _ to talk to Shane about it, even though Brent reassures him that Shane wasn’t upset, just worried about Ryan. He goes in early Tuesday morning and walks in a huge circle around the office four times before he spots Shane coming in through the front door. He waits until Shane walks over to his desk before he comes up behind him and clears his throat. Shane turns around and raises his eyebrows a bit when he sees Ryan standing there.

“So, I, uh, wanted to apologize for, you know, your shoes? And, um, I’ll definitely replace them and pay for your dry cleaning, or whatever,” he says, his eyes looking anywhere besides Shane’s face.

Ryan feels a hand on his shoulder and meets Shane’s eyes reluctantly.

“Hey, don’t worry about it really. We’ve all been there,” Shane says, smiling softly at Ryan.

Ryan is pretty sure he could melt on the spot, but just smiles back at Shane.

“Thanks for understanding dude, but at least let me replace them,” Ryan asks, trying to ignore Shane’s hand, which is  _ still _ on his shoulder.

“Alright, but you don’t have to, really.”

“I  _ want  _ to,” Ryan pleads, “please.”

Shane rolls his eyes a little but grabs his phone and presses it into Ryan’s palm.

“Here, put your number in so you can buy me some boots that aren’t covered in your nasty green vomit,” Shane smirks, rolling his eyes slightly before winking at Ryan.

“Thanks, Shane. That makes me feel great about myself,” he deadpans, only softening when he sees Shane’s eyes light up at the comment.

They go shopping for boots after work, and while they’re together Ryan is annoyed to find out that Shane isn’t just nice and hot, but he’s funny, making Ryan laugh so hard that he starts wheezing at times. He finds his gaze lingering on Shane longer than is probably appropriate for two coworkers, smiling when Shane jokes about trying on a pair of stilettos.

“Could you even walk in those?” Ryan sputters.

“Absolutely not,” Shane laughs, his grin widening as Ryan giggles.

At the end of the day, Ryan likes the boots he buys for Shane so much that he buys himself the same pair, blushing when Shane teases him for copying him. Ryan can’t help but to push Shane playfully, letting his hands press into his chest for a few seconds too long.

From that moment forward, he knows he’s screwed.

  1. Fourth of July



The slight chill in the air gradually melts into a hot Californian summer over the next couple months, and Ryan is relieved to soak in the sun once again. Since the puking incident, Ryan’s been spending a lot of time around Shane, mostly seeing him hanging around Keith and Zack. And suddenly, Ryan starts spending  _ a lot _ more time around them. With each day he sees Shane, Ryan cannot seem to prevent himself from falling for him. He’s captivated by Shane and his ridiculous sense of humor as well as his stupidly handsome face, which doesn’t make it easier for Ryan to stop pining. He quickly finds himself building a rapport with Shane, and actually enjoys his company, having lunch with him almost every day. Shane’s the exact opposite of Ryan in every way, but somehow, it works for them. There’s a sort of balance between the two, even though they’re always bickering over something new. Usually, their conversations land somewhere within the realm of the supernatural, much to the dismay of their friends.

“You cannot say with certainty that Amelia Earhart didn’t disappear because of aliens. Or ghosts!” Ryan yells, his drink spilling over the brim of his cup as he gestures wildly.

“Yes I can, Ryan because neither of those things are real,” Shane replies calmly.

“There’s no way you can possibly know that!”

“Can you guys shut up?” Brent shouts, looking up from his phone for a second to send a glare their way. “I’m trying to enjoy the party.”

Ryan rolls his eyes but takes a small step back, only just noticing how his elbow is knocking against Shane’s own. He feels his face flush a little, knowing he had gravitated closer to Shane as their argument grew more heated. Something deep inside of Ryan wants him to drape himself over Shane and never let go, even though he’s about 95% sure Shane’s straight.

“ _ Whatever,”  _ Ryan thinks, “ _ nothing wrong with fantasizing.” _

Around them, Eugene’s Fourth of July barbecue is in full swing, with most of the people scattered across the lawn already half drunk, even though the sun hasn’t even set yet. Ryan’s a little buzzed himself, stumbling a bit and finding himself giggling at Shane’s awful jokes. Across the lawn, half of the party is lounging around the pool, with most of Ryan’s coworkers half naked and splashing around. Ryan spots Keith on the diving board, who is putting on a full on show for everyone around him by dancing to a Kesha song. Shane follows Ryan’s gaze, and sputters a bit as Keith attempts to do a split. A few seconds later, the two watch Keith fall face first into the grass.

“Jesus, I should probably go make sure he’s okay,” he laughs, winking at Ryan as he walks away.

That’s all it takes to make Ryan blush, and he turns away despite the urge to grab Shane by the collar and kiss him senseless. He shivers a bit, taking a sip of his lukewarm beer and trying to push thoughts of Shane’s mouth out of his mind. Ryan pulls his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through his Instagram feed for a few minutes, nursing his drink and zoning out completely. Brent slips away when Ryan’s distracted, and he later spots him shooting the shit with Eugene.

“Ryannnnnnn!” someone yells, and Ryan looks up to see Keith in front of him, obviously drunk off his ass. He stumbles a bit but comes up close next to Ryan, giggling hysterically. 

“Sorry, sorry Ryan, we were just wondering if you wanted something to eat,” he slurs, resting his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. Ryan follows Keith’s eyes to the table of drinks and snacks, where he sees Shane waving.

The only problem is that Shane is eating a red popsicle, and Ryan’s heart skips a beat.

Now Ryan is a rational adult human being, and normally he can handle these situations without drooling all over himself, but this is ridiculous. Shane’s mouth is all stained red and as he closes his mouth over the tip of the popsicle, Ryan feels a bit more of his restraint slip away. He lets out an involuntary whimper as he watches Shane drag his tongue up the side, and Ryan can’t help the image that flashes through his mind of Shane on his knees in front of him, gripping Ryan’s thighs tightly… 

“Uhh,” Ryan stutters, trying to stop his eyes from bulging out of his head. For a second, he says nothing, but then shakes his head vigorously at Keith and rushes inside Eugene’s house, ignoring Shane’s puzzled look. His feet slide across the tiled floor as Ryan rushes to lock himself inside the nearest bathroom. Once the door is closed, he presses his hands hard against his eyes and tries to stop the pants escaping his mouth. A shiver runs through him, and he pushes the image of Shane’s wet, open mouth out of his mind. His head thunks against the wall, as he tries to think only very unsexy thoughts, already half hard in his pants. Ryan stumbles over to the sink and is in the middle of splashing cold water on his face when someone knocks on the door.

“Ryan? Are you okay?” 

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Ryan whispers, because he knows it’s Shane on the other side.

“Ryan?” Shane questions, sounding slightly concerned. It makes Ryan bite his lip, hard enough to break the skin.

“Yeah, I’m-” Ryan swallows, “I’m okay. Just, uh, felt a little sick for a minute.”

Ryan takes a deep breath and unlocks the door, pulling it open slowly. Shane’s leaning against the opposite wall, lips still a dark red. He swallows hard and forces a smile onto his face. Shane leans forward and rests his hand against Ryan’s forehead, causing him to let out a tiny gasp.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out,” Shane murmurs, “just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a fever.” Shane’s hand doesn’t move though, and Ryan is pretty sure he’s hallucinating, but he thinks Shane is stroking his thumb over his temple. He tries not to let his eyes flutter closed before Shane pulls his hand back, a soft smile on his face.

“Seems fine,” he says quietly.

Ryan holds back the whimper in his throat and looks away from Shane’s eyes. “Yeah, just felt a little nauseous. I’m okay now.”

“Well, I’ll be outside if you wanna join us. Just take it easy.”

Shane winks at him  _ again _ and Ryan can’t believe he hasn’t been reduced to a puddle yet. He turns away, going back out to the party, leaving Ryan in the hallway. Trembling, Ryan lets his head hit the wall once again before following.

After his unfortunate and poorly timed boner, Ryan hits the booze  _ hard. _ If he’s going to make a fool of himself, he might as well not have to remember it after the fact. He’s on his fifth beer when he spots Zack and Brent near the pool, and runs over to them. They’re talking about a project that Brent has been working on, and Ryan loses himself in the conversation. It’s only a few minutes before Ryan hears Shane close by, his laugh ringing out loudly behind him. 

At this point, Ryan’s pretty drunk, and he’s feeling like he’s on top of the world. He turns to Shane who catches his eye and shoots him a crooked smile.

“Hey Ryan, come here and tell Kelsey your ghost theories!” Shane shouts out, his tone mocking.

Ryan rolls his eyes but complies nonetheless, standing far closer to Shane than sober Ryan ever would.

“What about it?” Ryan questions, holding the neck of his beer between two fingers.

“Just tell her the same things you try to get me to believe.”

“Okay, first of all, ghosts are real, and second, you just don’t believe in anything!”

“Oh, come on, Ryan! You know that’s bullshit! I just believe in facts and logic and not magic and unicorns.”

“I will fight you over this.”

“You’ll fight me?” Shane laughs, trying to keep himself together as Ryan’s face gets redder and angrier.

Ryan takes his keys, wallet, and phone out of his pockets and throws them on the grass behind him. He puts his fists up over his face as Shane bursts into hysterics, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Ok, Ryan, let’s duke it out. To the death!” he yells, also emptying his pockets.

Ryan doesn’t know what he’s expecting, but he is  _ way  _ too drunk to be worried. Shane takes a step back, looking like he might pounce on him at any moment. There’s a hush around them, distracting Ryan long enough for Shane to wrap his arms around the younger man’s waist and hoist him over his shoulder. Ryan yelps, his face hitting Shane’s back hard. With Ryan completely upside down, Shane tightens his grip before running towards the pool.

“Here we go!” Shane screams, before jumping into the pool and taking Ryan with him. He flails around for a second, before feeling Shane’s hands wrap around his wrists to pull him up to the surface. Ryan sputters, blinking water out of his eyes and trying to reorient himself. He sees Shane laughing, and can’t help himself from splashing him as hard as he possibly can.

“Hey!” Shane yells, snickering quietly.

“You dickhead!”

He laughs again and takes hold of Ryan’s hand, dragging him towards the stairs. Ryan gulps, forcing his eyes to look away from Shane’s wet shirt, which is clinging to his thin frame. Shane turns to Ryan, a droplet of water sliding down the bridge of his nose.

“I hope you aren’t actually mad at me,” he smiles.

“Nah, I definitely deserved it. But that does not mean this is over.”

“Good, we can finish this anytime,” Shane grins, and Ryan suddenly realizes they’re still holding hands. He can’t stop his face from flushing, and Shane smiles at him again before squeezing his hand. Suddenly, Ryan notices that literally everyone around them is staring at them, so he laughs it off by nonchalantly patting Shane on the back. 

Later that night, his phone vibrates the second he walks into his apartment.

_ Shane: just to remind you, ghosts aren’t real! _

Ryan rolls his eyes as Shane sends him another text of the ghost emoji, followed by a sparkling heart.

He doesn’t reply, but simply falls into bed, and into a dream involving a very familiar hot, red mouth.

  1. Halloween



Because Ryan’s such a sucker for the supernatural, Halloween is easily one of his favorite parts of the year. He might be easily scared when it comes to ghosts, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have fun with his friends while they’re dressed up as their favorite characters. And every Halloween, without fail, someone he knows throws a party.

The weekend before Halloween, Ryan now finds himself pressed up against the wall of Zach’s apartment. He sips his drink leisurely, eyes wandering across the room. The party isn’t quite in full swing yet, and Ryan is absentmindedly scrolling through his Twitter feed. He almost feels foolish, standing alone in the corner in his ridiculous cowboy costume. He knows once more of his friends arrive, especially Brent in his matching horse costume, the anxiety building up inside him will melt away.

It’s only a few minutes before he sees Brent walk in, Shane hot on his heels. Ryan smiles brightly as Brent pulls him into a hug. Of course, Brent also looks absolutely ridiculous, a rubber horse mask in hand and a fake horse’s ass attached to his pants.

“Wow, and I thought I looked ridiculous,” Ryan snickers, trying to dodge the punch Brent throws at him. 

“Shut up, Bergara,” Brent yells, “You also look like a fucking fool!”

The three of them laugh for a second before Ryan finally locks eyes with Shane. His eyes are lined with a thick kohl liner, and a drop of blood drips from his mouth down his chin. 

“A vampire, huh?” he laughs.

“Dude, he went all out for this,” Brent says, “C’mon show him!”

Shane smiles wide, revealing a set of very convincing fangs, his lips stained by the fake blood. Ryan is immediately flustered as he tries to push away the feelings welling up in his chest. Instead, he attempts to feign surprise, grinning at Shane.

“Woah, those are dope!” he yells, his voice quaking for only a moment.

“Thanks! So it  _ was _ worth the 45 agonizing minutes I spent trying to put them on,” Shane shouts over the blasting music, a slight lisp present in his speech.

They all laugh, gently easing into idle small talk as the room continues to fill out. After an hour or so, Brent wanders away with Zach and Keith, leaving Ryan alone with Shane.

“So, Brent told me about that project you guys have been working on,” Shane shouts, raising his voice so Ryan can hear him over the nearby game of beer pong.

“Oh, yeah! I wouldn’t have thought you would want to watch that,” Ryan beams.

“Are you kidding me? I  _ love _ watching you make a fool of yourself.” Ryan punches him in the arm but smiles nonetheless. “Besides, I think it’s interesting.”

“Well, if you wanted to uh, guest host with me once that would be cool. Y’know if you want to,” Ryan rambles, already wincing at his own words.

“I would love to. It’ll be a lot of fun to poke holes in all your theories.”

“Oh, wow, thanks for that. I’ll be sure to get you on the show now,” Ryan retorts, unable to hold back a smile as Shane laughs.

“What I really want to do is hear all your crazy ghost theories,” Shane declares, “and then take you somewhere ‘haunted.’”

“I think I would have an aneurysm if we did that.”

Shane laughs, and he’s about to open his mouth when Ryan’s eyes grow wide as he locks eyes with someone across the room.

“ _ Holy shit _ ,” Ryan whispers, ducking behind Shane’s tall frame and grabbing his arms.

“Uhhh, everything okay?”

Ryan silently swears to himself. “Um, uh….see that guy in the Wolverine costume?”

“Yes…?”

“Well, I, uh, went on a date with him a few weeks ago and then totally ghosted him.”

“Ryan, how rude of you!” Shane jokes, chuckling.

“Shut up! He wouldn’t stop texting me and trying to get me to sleep with him,” Ryan hisses before turning to face Shane.

“Well, he’s only human.”

The smaller man feels his face heat up, and he slaps Shane’s arm hard. He’s about to yell at him again when he sees Wolverine walking towards him.

“Ryan? Is that you?” Ryan hears him say, and he winces.

“Hey...what’s up?” he says weakly.

“Thought I wouldn’t ever see you again,” Wolverine smiles, the tone of his voice creeping towards suggestive. It’s exactly the situation Ryan was attempting to avoid, and he feels panic rising up into his chest.

Ryan is about to open his mouth again when Shane wraps his arm around the younger man’s waist, his hand coming to rest flat on his stomach. Ryan lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and he settles back against Shane’s chest, his ass pressed flush against Shane’s crotch.

“We got a problem here?” Shane rumbles, and his mouth is so close to Ryan’s ear that he can almost feel the bristle of his stubble. It’s  _ so _ not the right time for Ryan to be turned on, but all he can feel is the hot line of Shane’s body pressed against his back, his hand lazily rubbing over Ryan’s midsection.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. See you, I guess,” Wolverine mumbles, quickly stumbling away.

It’s a second before Ryan comes out of his daze, and he can feel Shane’s hand curling against his abs. He lets out a shaky breath, head turning around slightly.

“You okay?” Shane whispers into Ryan’s ear, his stubble rasping against the skin of Ryan’s neck. A shiver runs through Ryan and he  _ prays  _ that Shane didn’t feel that. 

“Yeah. Thank you,” Ryan murmurs, “I really appreciate it.”

Shane disentangles himself from Ryan, much to his dismay. He immediately feels the absence of Shane’s body, feeling a chill in the air. They smile at one another but all Ryan can think of is the ache within himself.

  
  


So Ryan disappears into the crowd, coping the only way he knows how: drinking way too much.

-

The next morning, Ryan wakes up with a sour taste in his mouth and a pounding headache. He’s hyper aware of the arm tossed over his side, and the face nuzzled into the back of his neck. Silently, he swears to himself before craning his neck and turning slightly, not surprised to find Shane fast asleep beside him. Despite the anxiety churning in his gut, Ryan’s body relaxes a bit, and he allows himself to settle back into Shane. Beside him, Shane lets out a sleepy grumble before pulling Ryan closer, his lips pressed dangerously close to Ryan’s neck. One of Shane’s hands is dangerously close to the waistband of Ryan’s boxers, fingers stroking the soft skin of Ryan’s belly. A tiny whimper escapes from Ryan’s mouth, and he has to force himself not to grind back against what Ryan assumes to be Shane’s morning wood. When Ryan squirms a little, shifting his hips further away from Shane’s hand, Shane’s bleary eyes open. He immediately rolls away from Ryan, placing distance between their bodies.

“What time ‘sit?” he mumbles.

“Almost noon.”

Shane grunts before pulling himself out of bed and padding into the bathroom. Ryan’s thoughts are still fuzzy, so he closes his eyes again, trying to ignore his own hard on. He shifts, hissing at the friction from his boxers against his sensitive cock. The sound of footsteps stops Ryan from rocking his hips against the palm of his hand, and he covers himself with his dark blue fleece blanket. Shane comes back into the room, his hair sticking up at weird angles but his eyes bright.

“Hey, you wanna go grab some food?” he asks, a stray piece of hair covering his eye. Ryan feels his fingers twitch as he thinks about pushing the hair out of his face and trailing his hand down Shane’s jaw.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

Fifteen minutes later, Shane and Ryan start walking to the closest diner, chatting along the way.

“So, how did you end up in my bed last night?” Ryan questions, feeling anxiety flare up within him.

“Well, you got fucking wasted so I took you home and you practically  _ begged _ me to stay,” Shane grins. “Then you told me you were too scared to sleep alone and made me spoon you essentially.”

Ryan’s face flushes a hot, dark red, but Shane laughs and claps him on the back.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We all need someone to take care of us when we get drunk.”

“Thanks, y’know, for staying with me. Means a lot.”

Shane beams at Ryan, bumping shoulders with him gently. Ryan swallows hard but smiles nonetheless. 

They end their morning together with shitty coffee and pancakes, and Shane pulls Ryan into a hug as they say their goodbyes. It’s too much for Ryan, too close to what he really wants, and it makes him ache. He can just barely hold himself back from pressing a kiss on to Shane’s soft looking lips.

“Be safe, Ryan,” Shane jokes, winking at the shorter man before turning the other way.

As he watches Shane walk away, he mumbles to himself, “I’m a fucking  _ idiot _ ,” before he stomps back to his apartment.

  1. Christmas



It’s December 23rd, and Ryan cannot  _ wait _ to go back home to his family for almost two full weeks. He’s been on edge for the past two months now, unable to hold back his stupid feelings for Shane. Normally, Ryan would be fine with crushing on a coworker, but he can’t get Shane out of his head. It doesn’t help that they are always together, whether at work, the bar, or even at Ryan’s apartment. He can’t stay away without feeling like he’s missing an important part of himself. Ryan is already dreading being away from Shane for more than a week, craving his company more and more with each passing moment. 

It only takes him a few months to realize he’s head over heels in love with Shane. 

He finally realizes it when they’re filming their first episode of Unsolved together. It’s shaky, at first, but they’re both able to find their groove within a few minutes. 

Ryan clears his throat. “This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we cover the mysterious disappearance of the Sodder Children. Uh, you look enthralled. You look really excited.”

Shane smirks. “I can’t wait.”

“I think you’re about to have your mind blown.”

“We’ll see,” Shane chuckles. Ryan smiles at Shane, taken aback by the wave of emotions crashing over him. Has Shane always looked so effortlessly beautiful? Has Ryan always been so blind? He blinks hard, turning away to start the show, ignoring the burn in his chest, the longing deep inside of him. It hits him at the end of filming, when Shane leans over to hug him and it sets his whole body on fire. There’s no way to deny how much he thinks about Shane, how much he wants to see Shane, to hold him.

And yet, Ryan brushes those feelings aside, determined to have a normal, healthy friendship with his hot, undeniably straight coworker.

At the end of the day, Ryan is tidying up his desk and grabbing his laptop, ready to book it. 

“Ryan, wait!” someone called from across the room. He tilts his head up slightly to see Quinta running towards him.

“Where are you going?! You have to come to the party!”

Ryan winces a bit; he had completely forgotten about the holiday party. It’s the same as any other office party, meaning everyone gets together, gets drunk, and has a good time. But Ryan is so _ drained _ from the past few months of pining over Shane, as well as from the mess that is Unsolved currently, that he doesn’t even want to think about it. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t been feeling too g-”

“Ryan. You’re coming to the party tonight,” Quinta finishes, silencing Ryan and his bullshit lies. 

“Yay,” Ryan says weakly, feeling utterly defeated. He tries to stall for a bit, just by continuing to clean out his desk, but Quinta grabs him, and brings him down to the conference room quickly. The lights around the border of the room sparkle and reflect off the tinsel that’s strung up on massive fake pine tree. Red ribbons adorn each chair, and the long dark green table is covered with holiday treats, from cookies to cakes to challah. The room is packed from wall to wall, the drinks flowing and the vibe inside only getting better. Quinta hands him a drink within a few seconds, but Ryan is too anxious to even consider taking a sip. When she wanders away, he puts it down on a table before making his way towards the door. He’s about to walk through the door frame when Shane almost walks straight into him.

“Ryan, hey! I was just looking for you! Were you, were you leaving?” he stutters, slurring his words slightly.

“Well, y’know, I’m just tired and-”

“Ryan,  _ please _ don’t leave yet. I won’t get to see you for a while,” Shane pouts, grabbing Ryan’s hand.

Ryan feels his face heat up and his palms begin to sweat, a shy smile creeping onto his face. Shane’s thumb strokes his own, and he feels like he’s going to jump out of his own skin.

“Okay, I’ll stay for a little,” Ryan murmurs, to which Shane squeezes his hand in reply.

“I, uh, I got you something,” Shane explains, pulling a small box from his bag.

At the sight of the gift, Ryan flushes hard, his heart beating infinitely faster. He knows he can’t expect anything from Shane, because he doesn’t love him like Ryan does, but he can’t help but hope.

“Shane, thank you… I didn’t get you anything,” Ryan stammered, trying to avoid Shane’s eyes.

“That’s okay, you can make it up to me later,” Shane winks, pressing the box into Ryan’s hands.

It’s too much, and Ryan is so overwhelmed and overheated. He can’t stop his hands from shaking slightly as he gingerly takes the present from Shane’s hands. Ryan can see Shane’s smile from the corner of his eye, and it’s driving him absolutely  _ insane.  _ He rips the paper off hastily, mouth dropping open at the sight.

“Dude…”

“Surprise! Now we can finally go ghost hunting!” Shane yells, throwing his hands up in the air.

Underneath the paper is a spirit box, an instrument used to communicate with ghosts. Ryan is almost trembling with how much he wants to throw himself at Shane in that moment, but instead he just looks up at him, moon-eyed and in awe.

“I, uh, did some research and found the best one for you,” Shane admits, “I just really want to go ghost hunting with you.”

“Shane, this is so cool. Thank you, man,” Ryan smiles, feeling his stomach turn over and over with excitement.

“Anything for my best friend,” Shane replies, pulling him into a tight embrace. Ryan thinks he can hear his own heart break a little more when he hears the word ‘friend.’ If only Shane knew what Ryan was thinking; he would never want to hang out with him again. It’s enough to pretend though, and he melts into Shane, burrowing his face into his shoulder.

“MISTLETOE!” someone screams. Ryan pulls away, confused, before his face blanches. Above his head is a sprig of mistletoe, and all eyes are on them. 

“You guys have to kiss!” Eugene screams, the rest of their coworkers shouting in agreement.

Soon, the whole room is chanting, and Shane raises his eyebrow at him. Ryan can’t seem to look away from him, his jaw still hitting the floor. This  _ can’t _ be happening to him, not now, not with Shane, of all people.

Shane shrugs. “Gotta give the people what they want!” he smirks, before his hand curls around Ryan’s jaw. He has barely a second before Shane’s mouth presses gently on Ryan’s, his lips a little chapped, but very soft. Immediately, heat spikes in Ryan’s belly, and he can feel his eyes roll back into his head as Shane pulls him closer. Their coworkers are going  _ insane _ , screaming and hollering at the top of their lungs, whooping at the sight of the two men kissing. He fists a hand in Shane’s shirt collar, only deepening the kiss, their mouths slotting together perfectly. Ryan can feel Shane smile into the kiss, before he nips slightly at Ryan’s bottom lip and then soothes it with his tongue. A whimper escapes from Ryan’s chest, loud enough for only himself and Shane to hear. It’s needy, desperate, and it makes Ryan feel sick to his stomach, knowing that this is all just a  _ show _ . In response, a low growl escapes from Shane’s throat, which only makes Ryan harder than he already is, his hips stuttering forward a bit. He’s embarrassed and ashamed, despite the arousal coursing through his body. Shane pulls back a bit and locks eyes with Ryan, his tongue darting out against his bottom lip. Ryan turns away, tears threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. Everything is so overwhelming, Shane’s hand wrapped loosely around his wrist, keeping him close.

Everyone continues to cheer around them, but Ryan simply mutters, “I have to leave. Thanks again, Shane,” before storming out of the building.

Ryan makes it all the way to the parking garage before he starts crying, big heaving sobs escaping his lungs. All he can imagine is Shane texting him later with “I’m not into you like that” or “it was all for show!” And it  _ hurts, _ it hurts so much that Ryan slides down the side of his car and falls to the grungy concrete. He presses his hands to his eyes and tries to compose himself a bit, wiping the tears off his cheeks. His mind is racing, and the world starts to spin around him as the gravity of the situation settles in.

It’s only another minute or so before he can hear someone looking around for him, calling his name out low across the lot. Shane’s voice echoes out through the garage, and he appears suddenly, blocking out the fluorescent lights above.

“Ryan, you okay?” he questions, one hand out like he wants to reach out.

“Please go away,” Ryan whimpers.

“But, Ryan-”

“Shane!” Both men go quiet, Ryan’s dark eyes glistening with tears in the twilight. “I really want you to leave.”

“I just, I don’t want to leave without tal-”

“I said leave!” Ryan cries, a choked sob slipping out of his mouth. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth and turns away, tears sliding down his cheeks. It’s a few seconds before Ryan listens to Shane walk away, out of the parking garage, and probably out of Ryan’s life. 

Without another thought, Ryan climbs into his car, and peels out of the parking lot as fast as he possibly can.

  1. New Year’s Eve



Ryan is sitting on the couch at his parent’s house, watching Golden Girls reruns in his underwear when the new year comes. He wouldn’t even have noticed, if it weren’t for the sound of loud fireworks, flashing gold and silver in the night sky. The dull roar of partying reaches a climax when the clock strikes midnight, and Ryan closes his eyes while listening to the cacophony of sounds coming from outside his window.

It’s only been a little over a week since the kiss and Ryan’s meltdown. Since that night, Shane had sent several texts, which were all left unanswered by Ryan. 

_ Shane: hey ryan we should talk _

_ Shane: please ryan _

_ Shane: i just want to make sure you’re ok _

_ Shane: talk to me _

He had locked his phone and tossed it on his bed in his childhood room, letting the shame wash over him. Shane hadn’t texted him since.

The celebration continues outside as Ryan turns off the tv and stands up to stretch. He drags himself up the stairs, flipping on the lights in his room. When he left for school several years before, Ryan’s parents hadn’t changed his room at all, the black paint still flaking off the walls. His bed was tiny, a twin from when he was in high school, and the walls were covered with movie posters and pictures from Ryan’s childhood. On the nightstand next to his bed, his phone is face down on the wood. When he flips it over, he’s surprised to see a bunch of notifications have built up over the past hour.

Ryan opens Instagram to a picture from Keith of himself and Shane taking shots. It makes Ryan’s heart ache to see Shane looking so beautiful and so happy without him. He clicks on Shane’s account and presses play on his story, which consists solely of a video of Andrew dancing on a table. He chuckles slightly before a text pops up on the top of his screen. When he clicks on it, he’s surprised to see several texts from Shane.

_ Shane: hey ryan how are you _

_ Shane: i know we havent been talking but _

_ Shane: idk, i miss you so much _

_ Shane: i really wish you were here at this stupid party _

_ Shane: you would have made it bearable _

Ryan feels his heart swell, and is about to reply when another text pops up.

_ Shane: who else would be my kiss at midnight _

Ryan laughs at that, trying not to imagine Shane’s mouth again.

_ Ryan: keith probably _

_ Shane: youre probably right _

_ Shane: happy new year ryan _

_ Ryan: happy new year to you too shane _

The younger man smiles despite himself, typing out his goodbyes for the evening.

_ Ryan: goodnight shane _

_ Shane: goodnight ryan _

He’s about to put his phone down when it vibrates again.

_ Shane: you know youre important to me right _

_ Shane: because youre really fuckin important to me _

The skin on Ryan’s face is on fire, and he wishes it didn’t make his heart skip a beat to hear Shane say that. A fire licks its way up Ryan’s body, making him feel weak and heavy from desire. Tears well up in his eyes, collecting in his dark lashes. His phone vibrates one last time.

_ Shane: anyway goodnight _

_ Ryan: night _

After he puts down his phone and crawls into bed, Ryan lets himself cry over Shane for the last time. Or, at least, what he hopes will be the last time.

+1. Valentine’s Day

By February, things have settled down enough that Ryan and Shane can hang out again, believing that they’re already past the whole kiss thing. But Ryan can feel the tension in the air when they’re alone, and sometimes he stares at Shane’s lips until he has to force himself to look away, yearning for the taller man. It makes him feel so pathetic, knowing that he’s never going to forget how it felt to kiss Shane, how his hand felt on Ryan’s face, his tongue in the smaller man’s mouth. Now that he’s had a taste, all he wants is more, and Ryan isn’t sure how he’s going to walk away from this in the end. Each day it gets worse, longing crashing over him over and over until he’s exhausted. All he can imagine is pulling Shane into the janitor’s closet at work and kissing him until they’re both breathless. Ryan knows that’s not reasonable, that Shane doesn’t want him back, and that he shouldn’t even let his imagination run loose like this, but he can’t help it, he can’t forget how it felt to finally have what he wanted for so long.

On Friday morning, one day before Valentine’s Day, Ryan is certain his life is about to spiral out of control.

“What do you mean by fill in?” Ryan questions, cradling his coffee close to his chest. It’s far too early for his boss to approach him like this.

“The Valentine’s Day fundraiser. One of the girls dropped out of the auction and we need a replacement. I honestly think that you might get more bids than she ever would,” she chuckles, looking at Ryan nervously. “So will you do it?”

He bites his lip hard, trying to look away from his boss’s pleading eyes. Every year on Valentine’s Day at Buzzfeed, an auction was held for employees to bet on dates with the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes in the staff. The money spent was put towards the charity of the company’s choice, and normally most people enjoyed their night watching as members of the crowd fought over the prettiest interns up for bid. Although some members of the staff found the event demeaning, dozens of other employees signed up each year to be auctioned off, knowing that the money spent went towards a good cause. And now Ryan’s boss was looking at him with puppy dog eyes, waiting for Ryan to say yes.

“Okay,” Ryan sighs, averting his boss’s eyes as she beams at him.

“Great! The event is tonight at around 8, so you’re allowed to cut out a little early if you need. And dress nice, obviously. Thanks so much, Ryan!” She squeezes his arm and smiles again before walking out of the break room. Ryan isn’t quite sure what he got himself into, but he can already feel the anxiety sink to the bottom of his gut.

“What could go wrong?” he mutters to himself.

-

At 8 precisely, Ryan is waiting backstage, sweat pouring down his neck. Buzzfeed rented out a nearby hotel ballroom for the festivities, and the low murmur of the crowd can be heard throughout the room. He feels ridiculous in the only suit he owns, fidgeting with his damp collar every two seconds. He can see Quinta on stage through a crack in the curtain, warming the crowd up with a few jokes and shout outs to the people behind the event. A round of applause rings out, and the first girl is shoved out onto the stage, greeted by the rowdy crowd. 

Ryan can hear the whistles coming from the floor, the bids continuing to increase with each second. For a second, Ryan regrets being on this side of the audience, wishing that he was sitting down, sipping champagne and watching the show. The anxiety deep in the pit of his belly sours, and all Ryan wants is to disappear. He considers making a run for it, but suddenly the curtain flutters open and he’s pushed out onto the stage, almost tripping over his own feet. Lights shines directly into his eyes, making it impossible to see who is seated in the audience right in front of him. The air is hot and stuffy around him, the heat of the lights making sweat bead up on Ryan’s upper lip. 

“Our next eligible bachelor is Ryan Bergara! He’s currently working on a new project called Buzzfeed Unsolved, where he investigates unsolved crimes. So where should we start the bids?” the auctioneer smiles, eyes flitting all around the room. 

“$5!” Brent yells from somewhere in the room. Ryan can’t see him, but he flips him off nonetheless, earning a laugh from the whole room. 

“$10!”

“$20!”

The auctioneer rattles off numbers so rapidly that Ryan can hardly keep up, his mind jumbled by the screaming of his coworkers. 

“$150, do we have anyone willing to pay more than that?”

The room is completely silent, the only sound a cough ringing out from backstage. Ryan wishes he could see who was betting on him, and he prays it’s not just someone who only wants to get into his pants. The auctioneer is about to slam the gavel down when someone breaks the quiet. 

“$300,” someone calls out, and Ryan’s jaw drops. He  _ knows _ that voice, has dreamt about that voice for months. When he squints, he can see Shane’s silhouette at the front of the crowd, hand outstretched. 

“Wow, anyone wanna top that?”

No one says a word. The gavel comes down hard, and Ryan gulps, knowing Shane will have to take him on a  _ date  _ tomorrow night.

“Sold, to the gentleman in the front!”

Ryan stands up quickly, the room spinning around him as he runs behind the curtain once more. 

“Holy shit,” he whispers to himself once he’s alone, blinking furiously as he attempts to reorient himself. 

He’s unsure what to make of the situation, but he can’t help but think about how Shane willingly bet double the top bid for him. It makes his legs grow weak and his chest starts to ache with how much he wants this.

The problem is Ryan has  _ no idea  _ what Shane would want a date with Ryan for. It could be that Shane finally wants to talk about the kiss, about how Ryan reacted in the parking garage. He knows it’s the most logical reason for such a grand and public gesture, but a place inside of him tells him otherwise. His eyes flutter closed as he imagines Shane taking him to a fancy restaurant, making sure he’s well fed before taking Ryan home and fucking him until he’s satiated and asleep in Shane’s bed. A shiver runs through his body as he forces his eyes open, pushing the thought out of his mind. It’s so cruel to let these fantasies play out in his mind, since he knows there will never be a chance for them to actually happen. Ryan’s phone buzzes in his pocket. 

_ Shane: be at my apartment tomorrow at 7. don’t be late _

Ryan groans and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He is totally fucking  _ doomed.  _

-

At 7 on the dot, Ryan is standing at the front of Shane’s apartment building, his heart stuck in his throat. He shifts from foot to foot, his nerves making him jittery. The thing is, Ryan has absolutely no idea what Shane has planned, and it's driving him  _ insane.  _ The night before was spent contemplating all the different scenarios and situations that could occur, Ryan planning an escape for each of them. Plus it took him two whole hours to get ready, considering he went through his entire closet at least twice. In the end, he settles on a plain white button down and tight black jeans that he knows make his ass look spectacular. And although he had prepared for the worst, he also prepared for the best case scenario, stretching himself open in the shower, pushing Shane out of his mind while he curls his fingers inside of himself. Besides, Ryan just knows that when things don’t go well with Shane, he’s going to open Grindr and find someone to take care of him. It’s Valentine’s Day, so why shouldn’t he indulge?

He rings the bell once, rocking back on the balls of his feet. Shane’s there a second later, smelling  _ so  _ fucking good and looking even better in a black turtleneck and a pair of skinny red chinos.

“Hi,” Shane breaks into a huge grin, “please, come in.”

Ryan has been to Shane’s apartment more times than he can remember, but this is different. He can feel it in the way Shane stands close behind him, in the dimness of the lights inside. Soft music plays over the speakers, and the smell of meat cooking wafts in from the kitchen. Ryan quirks an eyebrow at Shane, who rolls his eyes but still pulls out a chair at the table for him. He nods towards the chair, and says “Please sit.” As usual, Ryan is quick to do what he is told.

While Shane pops into the kitchen, Ryan is seated in silence. He can’t stop bouncing his legs, getting lost in the repetitiveness of it. It’s starting to feel like his heart is going to burst out of his chest from a combination of anxiety and that tiny bit of hope that still burns on inside him. Shane pushes through the doors with two plates in hand, placing a steak down in front of Ryan before sitting down across from him.

“Shane, this is possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Ryan gushes, trying not to let a flush creep up onto his cheeks. 

“I wanted to get my money’s worth for the night,” Shane teases, his eyes sparkling as he winks. Ryan does blush then, heat creeping up his chest and neck.

“Well don’t expect me to put out later,” Ryan jokes, his voice quivering a bit as he pushes the image of Shane naked and hard out of his mind. Shane’s mouth quirks up into a smile, his eyes locking with Ryan’s in a moment of comfortable silence. A shiver runs down Ryan’s spine at the sight of Shane’s gaze in the low light, and he’s almost able to convince himself, that in that moment, that Shane  _ does _ want him. Ryan’s face relaxes into an easy grin, even though his palms are sweaty.

The rest of the dinner goes off without a hitch, the two of them mostly just chewing in silence. Shane gives Ryan’s shoulder a squeeze as he walks into the kitchen, reappearing a second later with a plate of sugary, deep-fried dough bites.

“Oh my god, did you make apple taters?”

“Only for you, Bergara,” Shane beams, mussing up Ryan’s hair as he sits down. His eyes flutter shut at the feeling of Shane’s nails scratching gently on his scalp, his body betraying him as Ryan presses his head up into Shane’s hand, nuzzling it like a cat. Shame courses through his body as Shane trails his hand down Ryan’s neck. When Shane’s thumb presses gently against Ryan’s jugular vein, his hand almost circling the entirety of Ryan’s throat, he has to stop himself from choking out a quiet moan. He squeezes his eyes shut and feels Shane move away, his body aching with want.

“Wanna watch a movie while we eat these?” Shane questions, his expression muddled. Ryan nods, his eyes not quite meeting his friend’s face. There’s a brief silence while Shane stares at Ryan for a bit, before he turns towards the living room and flops down on the couch. He pats the seat next to him and Ryan complies immediately, his thighs close to brushing Shane’s own. The tv clicks on, and Shane takes a second to browse before settling on  _ My Bloody Valentine _ , which Ryan thinks might be the only semi-decent Valentine’s Day slasher movie in existence.

“How apropos,” Ryan mumbles, his eyes rolling back into his skull. Shane smiles and pops an apple tater into his mouth, his arm casually draped across the back of the sofa, fingertips just skimming the collar of Ryan’s shirt, the ghost of his touch on the younger man’s skin. The alarm bells in his brain start blaring, the closeness of Shane’s body making Ryan squirm.

“So...is this worth the $300?” Ryan quips, face breaking into a playful smile. Shane raises an eyebrow, turning towards Ryan before his eyes skim over the younger man’s face.

“I don’t know, I guess that all depends on whether you’re going to sleep with me later or not,” Shane deadpans.

Ryan’s heart stops beating for a second, his mouth open wide like a fish out of water. He turns towards Shane, his face completely devoid of emotion. A second passes before his face splits into a huge grin, and Ryan can feel his spirit dampen. It’s so stupid, and Ryan knows it, but he couldn’t ignore that tiny of sliver of hope within him. Suddenly his proximity to Shane is stifling, and the brush of their shoulders feels more like fire dancing across Ryan’s skin.

“I’m gonna, uh, go, I think,” Ryan mumbles, standing up before shoving his shoes on as fast as he possibly can. In the end, it’s not fast enough, and Shane slips in front of Ryan just as he reaches the door, blocking his only exit.

“Wait, Ryan, please, I was only joking,” Shane sputters, grabbing both of Ryan’s wrists, “Don’t go yet.”

The pleading look on Shane’s face makes Ryan blink hard, his wrists aching, yet he makes no effort to move.

“Please let me go,” Ryan begs weakly, his voice cracking slightly as tears flood his eyes. He’s tired of playing games, tired of his heart being broken. Shane’s grip lightens, and his thumb strokes over the back of Ryan’s hands.

“I’m not sure what’s going on here, Ryan,” Shane mutters, eyes scanning over the shorter man’s body. He lifts his eyebrows slightly, releasing Ryan’s hands.

“Unless…” he starts, trailing off mid-sentence with a questioning look on his face, which makes Ryan’s blood boil with fury.

“Unless what?” Ryan snaps, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

Shane stares at him for a second, his mouth open slightly. “Unless you didn’t want it to be a joke?” he whispers, his voice pitched lower than Ryan has ever heard before. Almost immediately, he’s half hard in his pants, and all of his instincts are telling him to kiss Shane as hard as he possibly can. He gawks at Shane, frozen with fear and arousal.

“Ryan?” Shane whispers, stepping closer into Ryan’s personal space.

“So...what if I did?” Ryan breathes, eyes shifting towards the floor, “Not like you’d want me anyway.”

He steps even closer. “Ryan,” he murmurs, hot breath against Ryan’s ear, “you are so stupid.” He’s about to pull away, a little bit hurt, when Shane presses his mouth to Ryan’s throat, eliciting a whimper from deep within the younger man’s chest.

“S-Shane,” he whines, trying not to come in his pants from the light press of Shane’s lips to his collarbone. “ _ Please _ ...”

Shane smirks. “If you insist,” he breathes, and then he’s kissing Ryan. The brush of their lips is chaste, mouths moving slowly. They’re tangled up in each other, Shane’s arm wrapping around Ryan’s waist while Ryan’s hands are pressed up against the taller man’s chest. Shane’s hand comes up to tilt Ryan’s chin back, and he runs his tongue gently across his partner’s lower lip. Ryan’s breath stutters before he lets out a loud moan, the embarrassment bubbling up in his chest. Before he can pull away to duck his head, Shane flips their positions, pressing Ryan up against the wall and sliding a thigh in between his legs. The friction is too much, Ryan practically sobbing while rubbing off on him. Immediately, Shane sinks his teeth down onto Ryan’s lip before wrapping a hand around the base of his throat.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself baby,” Shane commands, tightening his fingers for a second. Ryan chokes out a loud moan, surging forward to meet Shane’s lips in a bruising kiss. He hitches a leg up around Shane’s waist, whimpering when his hands grab at Ryan’s ass. Vibrations from Shane’s deep groans travel through his body to Ryan’s as he slips his fingers under Ryan’s waistband, fingers skirting dangerously close to his hard cock.

“ _ Fuck _ …” Ryan moans as Shane bites hard at the thick tendon in his neck, soothing the skin with his tongue. It’s too much, so overwhelming and so  _ good _ that Ryan has to push Shane’s mouth away, thoroughly entertained by the frown on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like I kicked a puppy or something? I just want to last long enough for you to fuck me into the mattress,” Ryan smirks, leaning in to suck a hickey low on Shane’s neck while simultaneously palming the front of the taller man’s jeans.

“Mmmm, I can do that,” he replies, one hand threading through Ryan’s dark hair, pulling his head back enough to kiss him deeply, relishing in the wet heat of his mouth. They get a little caught up, Ryan’s fingers tangling in the silky strands of Shane’s hair. The two pull apart, a string of saliva connecting their lower lips. All is silent, except for the harsh panting of their breaths.

“Take me to your bed,” Ryan whispers, biting down softly on Shane’s earlobe. Almost instantaneously, Shane’s hands grip harder at his ass, and then they’re running, skidding down the hallway as Ryan wheezes and holds on for dear life. Within seconds, Ryan is on the bed, Shane’s body covering his own as his hand trails down Ryan’s chest, flicking open each button on his shirt. Ryan lets out a shaky breath as Shane’s mouth caresses his collarbone, trailing down his chest slowly, hot breath ghosting over his nipples. Without warning, Shane bites down hard on Ryan’s nipple, a keening moan escaping from Ryan’s chest, his back arching off the bed. His mouth curves into a smile, his tongue darting out to taste the skin underneath Ryan’s belly button.

“Shane, please,” Ryan begs, and suddenly deft fingers are popping open the button on his jeans, hastily shoving Ryan’s pants and boxers out of the way. There’s a moment of silence as Shane stares down at him, Ryan sweating and panting against his sheets, his cock hard and curved against his belly. The younger man shifts slightly, his cock brushing against his stomach, precum already puddling by his belly button. Shane leans down, runs his tongue through the salty, bitter liquid, feeling Ryan suck in a shaky breath.

The heat rises to Ryan’s cheeks as Shane’s mouth grazes over his thighs, sinking his teeth into the meat of his leg. At this point, Ryan is trembling, Shane’s mouth creating a flow of electricity throughout his body, his fingertips sparking. Ryan tilts his hips towards his Shane’s mouth, his cock bumping against his chin.

“Patience, baby,” Shane says, before pushing both of Ryan’s legs back against his chest.

Ryan’s mouth opens like he’s about to say something, but Shane rubs the tip of his fingers against his hole, eliciting a moan from deep within Ryan’s chest. Shane smirks, locking eyes with him before leaning down to lick a fat stripe across Ryan’s hole, causing Ryan to cry out, his ass pressing up hard against Shane’s tongue.

“O-oh my  _ god _ ,” Ryan cries out, taking deep sobbing breaths as Shane flutters his tongue, his hands spreading Ryan’s ass open.

The feeling of Shane’s tongue pushing inside Ryan is too much, his eyes rolling back into his skull as he clenches around the intrusion, embarrassed by the noises that slip from his mouth.

Shane pulls away, much to Ryan’s chagrin, his dark, hooded eyes darting to his partner, sweat glistening on his face. “You’re so fucking hot,” Shane growls, grabbing Ryan’s hips and pulling him flush against his own hard dick, still trapped in his ridiculous skinny jeans. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to do this? How long I’ve waited for you?”

A whimper bubbles up from deep inside of Ryan. “Please fuck me,” he pleads, sliding his hands up under Shane’s shirt.

Within seconds, Ryan is flat on his back on the mattress, Shane scrambling to unbutton his pants, his shirt already tossed aside. Ryan’s eyes dance across the chest of his companion, his soft, pale stomach and the dark thatch of hair below his belly button. He’s mesmerized as Shane pulls out his cock, wrapping his hand around the base before pumping slightly. Ryan knows he’s staring, his mouth wide open at the sight of Shane’s long and flushed cock, saliva pooling on his tongue. He can’t help but lean forward to mouth at the head, dragging his tongue against the slit. Fingers lace into his hair and yank his head back, leaving him completely at Shane’s mercy.

“You’re killing me,” Shane mumbles, pressing a hard kiss to Ryan’s mouth, taking a firm hold of his cock. Ryan’s mouth opens in a moan, and Shane takes the opportunity to lick deeply into his mouth.

“God, Shane,  _ please _ ,” Ryan sobs, thrusting up into Shane’s grip. He grins devilishly before pushing Ryan back down onto the mattress, one hand caressing his face while the other rifles in the nightstand drawer. A condom and small bottle of lube are tossed onto the bed precariously, and Ryan swears he can feel his heartbeat throughout his entire body.

He yelps as Shane’s finger, slippery with lube, presses into his ass suddenly. Shane makes a confused noise before turning to Ryan. “Did you...prep before you came over?” he asks huskily, his finger easily sliding deeper inside of Ryan.

His breath stutters softly, and he nods hastily. “I….thought about you,” he breathes, grunting as Shane slips a second finger inside of him.

“Oh, Ryan…” Shane rumbles, tilting his lover’s chin upwards, “You drive me fucking crazy.” He nibbles at Ryan’s bottom lip, worrying it with his tongue before pushing another finger inside of Ryan, sliding down to press soft kisses on his chest.

A breathy moan slips from Ryan’s mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as he scratches at Shane’s back. “Shane,” Ryan whines, pushing his ass back on the intrusion, fucking back on them. The taller man says nothing, curling his fingers just slightly and smirking as Ryan shudders. Suddenly, Shane slips his fingers out of Ryan, a displeased grunt escaping Ryan’s mouth at the emptiness. Shane shushes him softly, ripping open a condom packet with his teeth, chuckling slightly at Ryan’s impatience.

Silence fills the room as Shane pulls Ryan’s legs apart, the head of his cock bumping against Ryan’s hole. As Shane presses inside of Ryan, the younger man’s eyes roll back into his head, a deep, wanton moan bursting from his chest when Shane is fully inside him. Shane is  _ big _ , and Ryan had never considered himself a size queen until this moment, when he’s stuffed full of Shane’s cock and can think of nothing else but the feeling of ecstasy when Shane shifts forward slightly. 

“You feel...fuck… _ so good, _ ” Shane chokes out, his whole body trembling with exertion.

“Oh,  _ fuck _ , Shane, please move,” he begs, rocking back gently against Shane’s cock.

He leans down, kisses Ryan softly, snapping his hips forward and setting a brutal pace. Almost immediately, Ryan is on edge, crying out a bit as Shane’s dick rubs against his spot. Ryan can’t muffle the moans erupting from his chest, his hands pulling Shane in closer, tangling his fingers in his hair. He wraps his legs tighter around Shane’s waist, who crashes his mouth into Ryan’s, their hot breaths mingling.

Shane changes his angle slightly, hitting Ryan’s prostate dead on with each thrust. Ryan cries out, and it feels like he’s being split in half, but at the same time he can’t get enough, feels like he would die without Shane inside of him. A pale hand skirts down Ryan’s chest, tweaking each of his nipples briefly before wrapping a firm hand around his cock. His hand sits there, unmoving, as Ryan tries to fuck up into his fist.

“ _ Shane _ ,” Ryan gasps, Shane’s wrist twisting as he slowly strokes Ryan’s dick. “I-I’m gonna come…”

A wicked smile stretches across Shane’s fast, and suddenly he’s fucking into Ryan harder, faster, and it’s enough to make him cry out. He’s so close, the feeling of Shane’s body above him enough to drive him crazy. Ryan is about to open his mouth again when he feels Shane slip another finger inside of him, beside his cock still pushing hard into him, and he comes so hard he sees stars. Hot come shoots onto Ryan’s stomach, Shane fucking him through his orgasm as his partner whimpers and sinks into the bed. Ryan’s boneless, grinding his ass back against Shane as his rhythm gets sloppy, his cock pressing deep inside of him.

“ _ Please _ , come in me,” Ryan whines, mouth gaping as Shane’s thrusts become erratic and his mouth latches on hard to Ryan’s neck. He comes with a strangled groan, his mouth hot and wet against Ryan’s neck.

After Shane catches his breath, Ryan looks him in the eyes and kisses him softly, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s neck.

“You’re…” Ryan pants, mouthing at Shane’s jaw, “fucking incredible…”

“You’re the one that’s incredible,” Shane smiles, grabbing the base of his dick to pull out of Ryan before tying off the condom and tossing it in the trash. Ryan whimpers at the sensation of emptiness and snuggles up next to Shane, ghosting his mouth over the older man’s neck. Shane wraps his arm around Ryan’s waist, his hand resting right below the curve of Ryan’s ass. The two lay in a peaceful quiet for a few minutes, and Ryan slowly becomes mesmerized by the hypnotic rhythm of Shane’s breathing.

“Ryan?” Shane whispers, voice thick with sleep.

“Mmm?”

Shane mutters something into his hair, pulling Ryan in closer to him.

“Can’t understand you baby,” Ryan murmurs, pressing a sloppy kiss to Shane’s chest.

He locks eyes with Ryan, mouth open slightly. “I think I love you,” he hums, lips caressing Ryan’s forehead. They stare at each other for a second, the air between them crackling with electricity.

“I love you too,” Ryan breathes, kissing Shane feverishly until they’re laughing, rolling across the bed and tangling themselves together. After awhile, they fall asleep, Ryan’s head pillowed on Shane’s chest, their fingers interlocked.

In the morning, when the sun comes up high in the sky, Ryan sees Shane’s sleeping figure next to him, and he smiles, putting his head in the crook of Shane’s neck. And for once, Ryan knows that he’s exactly where he needs to be. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
